Stop Searching For A Prince

assalamualaikum..

Nowadays, there is a trend on Facebook/Twitter/blog/tumblr where people would talk about marriage; demanding a great, soleh husband/wife to enter the Jannah together and so on.

Looking at a positive side, I can't deny that it is good for us to have a perspective that a relationship between a man and a woman is a thousand way better with marriage - as all of us (Muslims) get the fact that marriage has more barakah and is a halal way to express love.

Furthermore, a successful marriage is a door to Jannah. I find that it is beautiful when it is said that if a woman is a man's key to paradise (by helping him to fulfill his deen with her through marriage and being an obedient wife), so, a man is a woman's door to Jannah. The key that opens the door - a husband and a wife need each other's help to get there, masya-Allah.

The Prophet Muhammad SAW said: ''The most perfect believer in faith is the one whose character is finest and who is kindest to his wife.'' (Tirmidhi and Nasa'i)

As a Muslim woman, I also want a great man to marry me - the man who lowers his gaze so that I become the only woman he sees, the man who preserved his heart for me, the man whose love will make me stronger - a gift from Allah, insya-Allah. Surely, I want him to encourage me to be closer to Allah in our baitul muslim; baitul dakwah.

But sisters, do you think that a prince of deen will marry you while you just sit in front of your laptop, busy updating your status about marrying a righteous man or sharing almost all of Irma Hasmie's marriage photos and saying how lucky she is to become a wife of a great man? Will a prince of deen look for you just because of your splendid poem about marriage, your 'surat-buat-calon-suami' entries or your 'menanti-bakal-imamku-dunia-akhirat' status? No.

And why do you focus on finding a righteous man (a prince of deen) only? Stop it. Don't let your imagination ruin yourself. There are many doors of Jannah so there are many ways to enter them. Don't just focus on one way (marriage). Be a righteous person first, prepare yourself. Devote yourself to Allah and when you stop searching for a prince and make Allah the King of your heart, He will help you to complete your fairy tale.

"I tell the boys and girls; Allah has already written the name of your spouses for you. What you need to work on is your relationship with Allah. He will send him/her to you when you're ready. It is only a matter of time." - Sheikh Mamdouh

For ladies, remember this - don't worry if you haven't found your life partner. Be a righteous woman not just because you want to marry a righteous man. Marry a righteous man not just because you want him to go with you to Jannah. You can attain Jannah with or without marriage. Now is the time for you be the one that can lead yourself there.

Take Maryam RA as an example. She never did get married but was still a righteous woman in the eye of Allah SWT. He says:

"And (the example of) Mary, the daughter of 'Imran, who guarded her chastity, so we blew into (her garment) through Our Angel, and she believed in the words of her Lord and His scriptures and was the devoutly obedient."
(Surah at-Tahrim, verse 12)

Pray and make du'a for the best, not just for life in dunya but also for hereafter. Ask Allah to forgive our sins, our parents' sins, our family's, teachers' and friends'. Don't forget to make du'a for our brothers and sisters in Palestine, Iraq, Syria, Afghanistan and Burma after every prayer.

And ask Allah to help ourselves to be among the righteous men.